Last Friday was such a day–one where events in the outer world are just so dang much, and in every way…trouble, and beauty. The inner-world effect for me after the immediacy of both wears off is the grave discomfort of realizing that my worldview is now, once more, insufficient for the world I am viewing, and so it has to expand, and it’s never ready for that.
My response to grave discomfort is first to engage in some nice unconscious treatment plans like spaghetti and meatballs, and then later I’ll get around to ritual, to being outside, to being with beloved others, to making something, and that’s what’s here: the things I made about June 26th, 2015.
What I know how to make are puzzles, and I’ve never tried to make a puzzle about pain before, and it probably won’t be fun to complete, but it kept me up all night wanting to be made, and I made and remade it a million times, each time making some small mistake that I caught just at the last minute, and then needed to go back, rework, with the effect that I own that puzzle in a different way than usual, and I really, finally, know their names. The first one, though: I hope you have a color printer so you can apprehend the full force of the joy. I think if you click on these, they’ll give you jpgs good enough to print.
So…On the occasion of a decision:
And on the occasion of a eulogy:
In my chorus we sing a song called “Trouble and Beauty,” and we only have official practice every 10 days or so but I sing that song every day lately, and I wish all you beloved others were all here to sing with.